THE BACHELOR
w/ BACHELOR JAKE PAVELKA
PREMIERES 1/4/10
There Will Be 25 Arrivals & 24 Departures .. Before THIS Pilot Finds His One & Only Co-Pilot!!
Well ABC has done it again. They regurgitated their successful Reality TV Show Formula that combines a Stud with Nags, Nerds, Hotties & Drama Queens and sequesters them in a magnificent mansion to battle it out using Bimbo Tactics and “Barely There” bathing suits in pursuit of a Hunky, Gainfully Employed Bachelor who's armed with a Rose & an Engagement Ring. Based on their names, and the research of Kerri Hopkins, which of these 25 Cast Members will become Jake's Official Co-Pilot and who will go down in TV history as the Most Competitive, Most Annoying, Most High Maintenance, Best Looking, Friendliest & Funniest of the season???
Well 1st off - here are the names Jake will be dealing with .. Alexa, Ali, Ashleigh, Ashley, Caitlyn, Channy, Christina, Corrie, Elizabeth from Neb, Elizabeth from DC, Ella, Emily, Gia, Jessie, Kathryn, Kimberly, Kirsten, Michelle,Rozlyn, Sheila, Stephanie, Tenley, Tiana, Valishia & Vienna.
Ashley, Ashleigh, Ella, Kimberly, Michelle, Valishia & Vienna will want the mansion wing that has the most Mirrors, Laser Hair Removal Services & Spray Tan Machines. Based on their names, these 7 love to look good & they're going to think they're the Hottest Cargo on Jake's Flight of Love.
If having fun were a sport, Ali, Corrie, Emily, Jessie, Sheila, Ella & Michelle would be on the Varsity Team. In between scarfing private time with Jake, I’m sure they’ll be the ones concocting their version of a "Thorny Rose Martini" @ the pool side Tiki Bar, start a kareoke competition, plan a food fight or climb through the the Bachelor Pad's bedroom window @ midnight for a pillow fight – these 7 just love a good time.
Sheila, Alexa, Kirsten, Michelle, the 2 Elizabeths, Rozlyn, Tiana and Vienna will be shrewd, curious & cautious as to whom they befriend. They get along best with guys - they know how to talk their talk - that's their type of personality. Consequently the other women will feel threatened by them – so these 9 shouldn’t be surprised when the other women move their beds outside while their sleeping, replace their shampoo with bleach or put x-lax in their omelets.
Tiana, Channy, Rozlyn & Ella are addicted to talking – after the show, they’ll need rehab for cell phone withdrawal. They LOVE to talk - it’s just their nature. They suffer from “gossip dyslexia” – which means they tend to gossip in FRONT of other people’s backs. I must say though, a Rozlyn & Ella will keep things interesting in the mansion because their commentary will be funny – they’re not afraid to say what everyone else is thinking.
The 2 Elizabeths, Caitlyn, Kathryn, Ashley, Tenley & Kimberly will be particular, secretive & observant. They’ll know everything about everyone else, but people will know little about them. They’ll be clever when coercing people into doing things their way by making people feel obligated to them - these people could be travel agents specializing in guilt trips.
A person named Alexa, Ella, Gia, Kathryn, Kirsten, Rozlyn, Valishia & Vienna don’t like to discriminate – so they’ll annoy everyone equally.
When observing Rozlyn, Vienna, Valisia, Alexa, Elizabeth, Channy, the 2 Elizabeths, Ella, Kathryn, Kimberly, Kirsten, Ashley, Ashleigh & Michelle, you’re going to think that they have the Master Key to “Confidence Town”. Not much fazes or deters them. They believe in themselves and don’t listen to their critics. They’re also all “high maintenance” type people. They’ll be the ones who request the Butler and “Turn Down” service. They like being pampered, and they’re used to having/or are striving to have – all the comforts of life. Hopefully they’ll win the dates that allow them to stay in resorts & have 1st class travel. To them, having massages, eating great food, and living among luxury – is like returning to their mother ship.
Don’t trust Alexa, Valishia, Caitlyn, Channy, Vienna, the 2 Elizabeths, Kirsten or Kathryn to play fair – they’re there to win .. uh I mean .. to find true love. They’ll talk out of both sides of their mouth and nothing will ever be their fault or responsibility. They think quick on their feet and could win a Gold Medal if "manipulating a situation" were an Olympic event. They'll easily be able to convince Jake that the rest of the girls in the house are "out to get them". Their use and exploitation of friendships, allegiances & alliances will be so shrewd, so strategic and so convoluted that everyone of them – could test positive for B.S.
While I won’t say they’ll be lazy – I will say that Corrie, Jessie, Tiana & Gia will be selectively active. Good thing there's a Stephanie & Christina in the house. They'll be really nice people who'll pick up the slack of others & will be willing to take responsibility for what everyone else refuses to do.
Ali, Emily, Stephanie & Christina will be the “Hamburger Helpers” of the Bachelorette mansion – you know the type, they’re always trying to help out, so as to make things more convenient for everyone else around them. They’ll be the therapists, the cooks & the biggest cheerleaders when someone gets a great one-on-one date with Jake. Of the 4 - Ali will be a sweetheart, but she can easily be cajoled into doing things that she probably shouldn’t do. Christina & Stephanie put too much pressure on themselves - so they're gonna get really stressed out. Emily will make the best of the situation and try to laugh off any hurt or jealousy that may be thrown her way.
Rozlyn, Alexa, Michelle & Tiana can be fun to be with, but if you get them mad, look out - they’ll be even less fun than driving over a speed bump while your muffler is falling out.
If Jake knows what he's doing, he's going to like Ali & Sheila the best. They're the most compatible with him. Jake will love Ali because she's such a sweetheart & is fun loving, she'll make the best of every situation and will be friendly with everyone. A Jake LOVES mischief & doing bonehead things sometimes. Jake will love that Ali will be willing to put up with all of his mess-ups. Sheila won't let him get away with any mess up, but she'll talk his talk, get along great with his friends & will be an equal partner.
12/26/09 Update: One of the Bachelorettes had an affair with Production crew .. hmmm ... based on their names - my guess is Corrie, Ella, Gia or Jessie to be the one most likely to hook up with a hot staffer ..
Well 1st off - here are the names Jake will be dealing with .. Alexa, Ali, Ashleigh, Ashley, Caitlyn, Channy, Christina, Corrie, Elizabeth from Neb, Elizabeth from DC, Ella, Emily, Gia, Jessie, Kathryn, Kimberly, Kirsten, Michelle,Rozlyn, Sheila, Stephanie, Tenley, Tiana, Valishia & Vienna.
Ashley, Ashleigh, Ella, Kimberly, Michelle, Valishia & Vienna will want the mansion wing that has the most Mirrors, Laser Hair Removal Services & Spray Tan Machines. Based on their names, these 7 love to look good & they're going to think they're the Hottest Cargo on Jake's Flight of Love.
If having fun were a sport, Ali, Corrie, Emily, Jessie, Sheila, Ella & Michelle would be on the Varsity Team. In between scarfing private time with Jake, I’m sure they’ll be the ones concocting their version of a "Thorny Rose Martini" @ the pool side Tiki Bar, start a kareoke competition, plan a food fight or climb through the the Bachelor Pad's bedroom window @ midnight for a pillow fight – these 7 just love a good time.
Sheila, Alexa, Kirsten, Michelle, the 2 Elizabeths, Rozlyn, Tiana and Vienna will be shrewd, curious & cautious as to whom they befriend. They get along best with guys - they know how to talk their talk - that's their type of personality. Consequently the other women will feel threatened by them – so these 9 shouldn’t be surprised when the other women move their beds outside while their sleeping, replace their shampoo with bleach or put x-lax in their omelets.
Tiana, Channy, Rozlyn & Ella are addicted to talking – after the show, they’ll need rehab for cell phone withdrawal. They LOVE to talk - it’s just their nature. They suffer from “gossip dyslexia” – which means they tend to gossip in FRONT of other people’s backs. I must say though, a Rozlyn & Ella will keep things interesting in the mansion because their commentary will be funny – they’re not afraid to say what everyone else is thinking.
The 2 Elizabeths, Caitlyn, Kathryn, Ashley, Tenley & Kimberly will be particular, secretive & observant. They’ll know everything about everyone else, but people will know little about them. They’ll be clever when coercing people into doing things their way by making people feel obligated to them - these people could be travel agents specializing in guilt trips.
A person named Alexa, Ella, Gia, Kathryn, Kirsten, Rozlyn, Valishia & Vienna don’t like to discriminate – so they’ll annoy everyone equally.
When observing Rozlyn, Vienna, Valisia, Alexa, Elizabeth, Channy, the 2 Elizabeths, Ella, Kathryn, Kimberly, Kirsten, Ashley, Ashleigh & Michelle, you’re going to think that they have the Master Key to “Confidence Town”. Not much fazes or deters them. They believe in themselves and don’t listen to their critics. They’re also all “high maintenance” type people. They’ll be the ones who request the Butler and “Turn Down” service. They like being pampered, and they’re used to having/or are striving to have – all the comforts of life. Hopefully they’ll win the dates that allow them to stay in resorts & have 1st class travel. To them, having massages, eating great food, and living among luxury – is like returning to their mother ship.
Don’t trust Alexa, Valishia, Caitlyn, Channy, Vienna, the 2 Elizabeths, Kirsten or Kathryn to play fair – they’re there to win .. uh I mean .. to find true love. They’ll talk out of both sides of their mouth and nothing will ever be their fault or responsibility. They think quick on their feet and could win a Gold Medal if "manipulating a situation" were an Olympic event. They'll easily be able to convince Jake that the rest of the girls in the house are "out to get them". Their use and exploitation of friendships, allegiances & alliances will be so shrewd, so strategic and so convoluted that everyone of them – could test positive for B.S.
While I won’t say they’ll be lazy – I will say that Corrie, Jessie, Tiana & Gia will be selectively active. Good thing there's a Stephanie & Christina in the house. They'll be really nice people who'll pick up the slack of others & will be willing to take responsibility for what everyone else refuses to do.
Ali, Emily, Stephanie & Christina will be the “Hamburger Helpers” of the Bachelorette mansion – you know the type, they’re always trying to help out, so as to make things more convenient for everyone else around them. They’ll be the therapists, the cooks & the biggest cheerleaders when someone gets a great one-on-one date with Jake. Of the 4 - Ali will be a sweetheart, but she can easily be cajoled into doing things that she probably shouldn’t do. Christina & Stephanie put too much pressure on themselves - so they're gonna get really stressed out. Emily will make the best of the situation and try to laugh off any hurt or jealousy that may be thrown her way.
Rozlyn, Alexa, Michelle & Tiana can be fun to be with, but if you get them mad, look out - they’ll be even less fun than driving over a speed bump while your muffler is falling out.
If Jake knows what he's doing, he's going to like Ali & Sheila the best. They're the most compatible with him. Jake will love Ali because she's such a sweetheart & is fun loving, she'll make the best of every situation and will be friendly with everyone. A Jake LOVES mischief & doing bonehead things sometimes. Jake will love that Ali will be willing to put up with all of his mess-ups. Sheila won't let him get away with any mess up, but she'll talk his talk, get along great with his friends & will be an equal partner.
12/26/09 Update: One of the Bachelorettes had an affair with Production crew .. hmmm ... based on their names - my guess is Corrie, Ella, Gia or Jessie to be the one most likely to hook up with a hot staffer ..